It's The End Of The World As We Know It

So I woke up wednesday morning expecting nothing to be wrong and it stayed that way for a while.

I woke up and stayed in bed like a lifeless lump for a while. Swat anyone who came in and told them to go

get a life that didn't involve waking me up. When I finally got up I went downstairs to find no breakfast waiting.

YAY! I got my stuff together and got dressed and ready for the day. When it was just about time to go dad got

very upset with Moriah for putting a blanket over his computer even though she didn't. We drove to grandmas

and after we got there dad left. I went in and made a run for the piano. I stayed there for a long time only taking

breaks to eat and play scat with Moriah and Grandma. After staying there for a very long time I got up and went

to go get some sheet music when I heard grandma crying behind a closed door. I ignored it not knowing what to

think. I printed out the sheet music then went to the piano.

Shortly after she called us in to talk to her. Her eyes were puffy from crying and she spoke between little sobs.

She said that the news wasn't good for Maryn and that she should probably let my mom tell us the news but I couldn't

wait. What is it? I said over and over again until she finally told us that Maryn had a brain tumor. It got really quiet and

Moriah began to cry and so did grandma. This is were it got awkward for me seeing as yeah this stunk but tears

weren't coming for me. I grabbed my bag and followed them out to the car I grabbed a seat in the back and plopped me

and my bag down on it. They both kept on crying and I still didn't cry I felt angry with God though and there were

a million questions going through my mind. Why God? She's three for Pete's Sake? She hasn't even begun to

experience life! I practically mind screamed at God and what did I get back from him you ask? Some kind of miraculous

vision with all the answers. No. I got to sit there in the backseat listening to the leadsinger from Flyleaf scream about how

she was so sick.

When we were nearing the hospital I asked grandma if she thought I was selfish because of how I just sat there

mouthing the words to my songs. She said no but, I sure felt weird. She said everyone has different coping methods.

At this point I put my headphones back in and listened to one of my favorite songs called City.

I mouthed the words and felt the need to sing but I knew I couldn't not in the car. When we arrived at the hospital my dad

waited outside and told us that we needed to be strong for mom. I looked up at him so he could see I hadn't been crying

then let him lead us inside to the MRI part of the hospital.

We were lead through many doors that warned us about high magnetic fields and I immediately worried about my

laptop and ipod which made me feel even more selfish. When we entered Maryn's room she was unconscious on a

hospital bed with an IV thingy in her which told me she had been through the same traumatic experience as me. The IV

scared the heck out of me when I got it so and that was when I was nine so I knew it must have been horrible for her.

This is when I saw my mom flipping out. I gave her a hug and noticed that she had been crying and breaking out in cold

sweats like crazy. I felt really bad for her. The doctor came in and I got to see the MRI pictures. This is when I began to understand.

The tumor was HUGE compared to Maryn's tiny 3 year old brain. It was located smack in the middle of the brain stem

too. The doctor explained to me how the whole thing was a tumor and it had been growing for a while. I knew what was going on

it made sense now. A malignant cell in her brain went crazy and started to multiply over and over again

creating a big ball of BAD cells. It pushed up against her nerves and mad her act weird which explained her "Anger Management Issues"

as I had called them. The doctor also told me that it was inoperable because of how it was pushed up against the nerves and

it was right in the middle of the brain.

So we walked back to Maryn's room where I started to cry but as usually I just teared nothing else. I rocked back and forth in the chair

watching her slowly wake up.